It’s past 40 days now since we lost our beloved family member, pet and my furry son, Wolfy. He was 18 years old when he passed away Wednesday morning, February 10, 2021 just ten days after his birthday. Life hasn’t been the same since. Funny thing about losses, you get to find out who your real friends are quick. Only one person reached out and helped me. I was able to get a beautiful coffin for him. I did a FB live memorial two days later on his Facebook page. They were steps taken to bring closure, to bid farewell to a friend. I got some rude reactions to it. One person left a laughing emoji on the memorial video. Like I said, losses reveal truth.
However closures never come quickly. It takes time. The hurtful timing of his death came two days after the date my dad passed away many years ago. Wolfy came into our lives a year before my father passed. It seemed as if they were tied together in some strange sort of way. In the days after, I’d hear a meow, or see him out of the corner of my eye. Sometimes the chair would creak where he’d used to lay. The light in the living room turned on by itself where he’d love to hang out. I’d have dreams where he’d visit and chatter away in his meowing and head butting. I’d look over old pictures and wish I had taken more. I’d watch videos and burst out sobbing. It took days to finally seal his casket. I felt the closure. I wanted to bury him in a pet cemetery with an elaborate memorial headstone but I didn’t have the funds for it. I even started a GoFundMe but no one donated. I would have had better luck if I sprayed myself with glue or something. Our family came to the agreement to have him buried in our home backyard. (Still working on a memorial.) There, he is in company with two parakeets, a beta fish, Lil Suzi, the baby squirrel and Kitty, our 1980s cat.
So you see how losses are never easy but they are eyeopening. I drew back from everything. Everything forced me to draw back and away. I’m glad truly. The introspection helped. Focusing on myself and mending. Focusing on personal priorities and away from activities that drain. So there is a silver lining to these deep emotional losses. You think someone or something will go on forever but it’s not the case. There’s always a set time for the seasons and relationships in your life. Some waltz in briefly and take, take, take, while others stay and stick with you to the end. Perhaps this is the reason, the death of an animal is grieved more so than a human because our animal friends are there when everyone else is not. They stick with you to the end. Wolfy was a blessing and for that I am thankful to have had him.
Wolfy had been sick on and off with various ailments the past two years. He had two UTI’s and ringworm. 2020 was a rough year for all of us including him. In the end, he lost so much weight rapidly and died next to me on my bed. We spent the night before his passing watching Star Trek, his favorite show. He was spoiled in everything. When he insisted, he got some human food too. This is when you know your cat has completely bonded with you. Swear he would go crazy when I’d make coffee. He wanted to be just like me. Human. Besides the fact that cats own you in every way. 🙂
He was named Wolfgang William I after Mozart and famous Williams in history (Shakespeare/Shatner/Prince). A regal name for a handsome cat whose lineage came from championship showcats. He was the first boy cat I had since I was a child. My first cat was George who tragically died getting run over by a car. I swore off boy cats ever since and stuck to girl cats. I’m so glad I had the blessing of Wolfy in my life. He came as a kitten at 14 weeks from a wonderful breeder. He was a welcome and needful addition to our family. I had lost my female kitty, Molly under awful circumstances.
It took a year or so after visiting cat shows and saving up money that I decided the “Ragdoll” pedigree was the best choice for my family. My daughter would have a gentle companion growing up. Ragdolls are known as being “gentle giants” and very much have a dog’s disposition. They are huge cats with soft, long rabbit-like fur. They don’t fully mature until 3-5 years of age. Males are bigger than females with some getting up to 20 pounds. Wolfy got big. Still floppy, huggable and loveable. He would take up one side of the bed. He occupied many computer chairs too.
Wolfy loved to play soccer and laser lights in his younger years. As a baby kitten, he’d crawl into the drawers of the computer desk from the back. I’d open them to find him sleeping there. Sometimes he’d just sleep between the keyboard and monitor, sprawled out as I worked. He was so very intelligent and well-mannered in many ways. People who hated cats came to love Wolfy. In the mornings, he would wack my legs gently to get me to move them so he could walk up the edge to hit me in the face with his paw. Always gently. Sometimes I just couldn’t wake up so he’d let me sleep just sitting there watching me. Oh Wolfy! He is sorely missed. I will cherish that cat forever. He was the best feline I ever had! Simply amazing. He was and will always be the Love of Our Lives!