How to Beat Da Heat!

Here’s my simple list of staying cool in da Chi.

1. Staying Indoors: got A/C? Heck, you lucky dog! Not everybody has it. Not everybody actually wants it but it can keep those cassette tapes from melting and becoming completely useless. So it’s real simple, take it from a pro like me… just park yourself in a computer chair, couch, futon or bed and let the coolness surround you. Ahhhh. Pictured below: Hello Netflix & Binge!
2. Eating Frozen Delights: eating cold stuff helps cool you off and transports you momentarily to the North Pole. Plus it’s more exciting to try to eat ice cream fast before it melts and you’re left with a hot, sticky mess. Bonus if you have a pet who likes ice cream (and if you don’t have issues in sharing; just no chocolate), you won’t have to worry so much about the stickiness necessarily.
   Pictured below: Bargain deal gelato for $2 bucks at Mariano’s. 
3. Water: drinking and/or swimming. Obviously staying hydrated by drinking water helps not only flush toxins from your body but keeps your body from overheating and you dying. As for swimming, well being in the water in the summertime is a heckalot more fun than dipping in the water when it’s -10F below. Besides keeping yourself cool, make sure you wear sunscreen lotion and aloe vera so you don’t look like a cooked lobster or a dried raisin either.
   Pictured below: they had the right idea.
4. Watching a Movie: heck yea! Why isn’t this Numero Uno on the list, Schmoto? Ah, heck that’s because I saved the best for last. You’re guaranteed to beat the heat by sitting in the theater for 3 hours. After watching that 1/2 hour of movie previews, if by any chance you’re wearing shorts, your legs will have already have turned into an ice cube. And by the time you wobble out of the theater, the melting phase will commence. But it won’t feel so bad as you’ll be welcoming the heat. That suffocating humid heat. Hmmm…heat.
   Pictured below: smell that popcorn!

Happy Summer!

~Photoschmoto